Called to Serve - More of Him Monday

Welcome to More of Him Monday!

Today, Heather at Desperately Seeking Sanity is hosting a carnival so that we can share our stories about how God got our attention. I thought this would make a great More of Him post as well. So if you're here for More of Him, please sign the Mr. Linky below. If you're here from Heather's carnival, please leave a comment. And if you want to participate in More of Him, please read the guidelines and join in the fun and encouragement.

I was raised in a Christian home. By that, I mean that we always went to church. My parents were active in our small country church, and we were there every time the doors were open. When I attended vacation Bible school at the age of 8, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior.

I was a good kid. I believed in obeying my parents, and I didn't have a real rebellious streak. Sure, I wasn't perfect. I succumbed to peer pressure, but I always felt guilty about the things I did.

Junior high and senior high school were rough years for me. I was the quintessential band geek, even the drum major. So I didn't have a lot of friends. What few friends I had were from church, and most of them were younger than me. I always felt alone. My dad always compared me to my older sister and would remind me that I needed to live up to the standard that she set. So, for my dad, anything I did was not good enough, unless it was better than what my sister did. Which never happened (at least that I remember).

During my senior year in high school, I attended a Christian rock concert. It was Mylon and Broken Heart (anyone remember Mylon LeFevre?). I had listened to some Christian rock in the previous year or so, but I had never been to a concert.

It wasn't a profound moment, but at that concert I rededicated my life to Christ. The ironic thing was that I had already decided to attend a Christian college the next year. Not that being at a Christian college was a priority when I made that decision, but I had received a scholarship, so I followed the money.

But God knew what He was doing in giving me that scholarship. He knew that I would need to be in a less typical college environment so that I could grow in my walk with Him. I don't know if I could have remained faithful to my re-dedication if I had attended a typical university. I was too much of a "go-with-the-flow" kind of person.

During the college years, I came to grips with the "father" issues that I had, namely that I never felt good enough for my dad. Because of those issues, I realized that I never felt good enough for God either. But it was during that time that I learned about God's unconditional love and that I don't have to measure up to earn His love. God did a lot of healing in my life during that time.

While in college, I felt called to ministry. So I finished my degree in music, then attended seminary to pursue pastoral ministry. After finishing my masters degree, I served for four years as an associate pastor. (That means I did everything the senior pastor didn't want to do!) I became a jack of all trades in ministry. I could preach, teach, lead youth group, lead worship, do hospital visitation, you name it, I did it. It was a busy time.

I was still single and still struggling with that. I had been engaged in seminary, and it had ended badly. But God and I had many, many conversations about my future. The desire of my heart was to be a wife and mother. So I prayed that God would take away that desire if that was not His plan for me. He never took away that desire, so I knew that that would be a part of my future. When? I didn't know, so I still struggled.

Finally, in my fourth year of ministry, I met my Hubby. We met on a Christian singles website just after New Year's day. God changed the circumstances in my life, and Hubby and I were married just after Christmas that same year.

While I have never had the desire to return to pastoral ministry, Hubby and I are very active in ministry together. We lead worship together. We have led Bible studies together, and for the past two years, I have also led a ladies Bible study. So I feel like I am being faithful to the call to serve God.

There was a short time that I did struggle with that call to ministry and my desire to have a family. And this journey hasn't been without its highs and lows. But through it all, I know that God has walked with me, even carried me.

Now, I am a wife and mother, but most of all, I am a servant. I know that the greatest servant role that I can fill is that to my family.

Even with all of my daily failures, I know that God gives me strength each day to serve Him.